Having a baby and navigating time for yourself can be challenging. Add in to that the desire to surf and the physical, mental and scheduling challenges of that and it’s quite an undertaking. The internet is full of miraculous mums who seem to be surfing days after giving birth. We caught up with Women and Waves Founder, Rachel Murphy to discuss her realities of the process and find out how she has worked her way through the process. 

How long did you need to stop surfing for before you had Dakota?

I stopped surfing around 17 weeks, and I remember that last wave so clearly. As I rode it in, I just knew it would be my last one for a while.

I’d really hoped I’d be one of those incredible women like Kelia Moniz, Carissa Moore and Honolua Blomfield still gliding through waves with a big bump well into their pregnancies. But for me, that just wasn’t how it played out.

Honestly, I was horrifically sick right up until around 16 weeks, and by the time I finally started feeling human again, I was already showing quite a bit. Lying on my stomach felt weird, and my abs had already clocked off by that point. I tried knee paddling, but baby was sitting high and it just didn’t feel right. I was also surprised by how quickly my centre of gravity shifted, everything just felt… off.

I did however keep swimming until the water got too cold – that definitely helped keep me sane.

How long did it take you to get back in the water afterwards and why? There seems to be a movement to surf straight away after you have given birth, did you feel any pressure to do this? 

My first surf back was around 14 weeks postpartum. Mainly because I had Dakota at the start of January and there was no way I was getting back in the sea in the middle of winter. I could barely walk for the first 3 – 4 weeks, and then you have your postnatal check around 6 – 8 weeks, so I wanted to wait and make sure everything felt right before easing into anything.

Honestly, everyone I bumped into kept asking if I’d been back in the water yet but it was the last thing on my mind. I’d just had a baby, I wasn’t sleeping, and surfing didn’t even make the list. Sleep definitely took priority over surf.

I was also exclusively breastfeeding, so the idea of leaving the house for more than an hour without bubba having a meltdown just felt impossible. It just wasn’t on the cards at that stage.

But then those dreamy early spring days rolled in, I was getting stronger, Dakota was taking a bottle, there were clean, small fun waves, sun on my face and out of nowhere, the froth was back. I got back in and it felt so good!

I’m not going to lie though that first surf was pretty abysmal. I could barely pop up, I was second-guessing everything, pulling back on waves I’d usually go for, and just didn’t trust this new body of mine. I was excited, but nervous as everything felt unfamiliar. But now, a few surfs in (four or five maybe), I’m starting to feel the flow again. Slowly but surely, it’s coming back.

Looking back, it makes me laugh – I used to stash my breastmilk in the fridge at our local Boardriders club so my husband could feed Dakota if she kicked off, just so I could actually relax whilst in the water. Total game-changer.

If you’ve got something similar nearby, I highly recommend joining a local surf club. Not only can you store your milk, but you can keep your gear there too, way less to carry, and way more headspace.

Fistral Beach, shot during the morning walk with Dakota.

What has been your experience of your girlfriends who surf and the time that it’s taken them to get back in the water?

Some have taken longer to return, and some haven’t made it back at all, which honestly makes me sad. It’s such a personal journey, and you really do have to tune into your body and go with what feels right for you.

How have things changed in regards to managing your surf time? Is your surf time even more special now, presuming you get even less time to yourself than before? 

Before I had Dakota, I’d say I was pretty obsessed with surfing. I am such a mediocre surfer but I was absolutely addicted to checking the surf first thing every morning, planning my whole day around tides and conditions and always trying to squeeze in a session wherever possible.

Now, it’s a very different story – I’m lucky that my husband and I both really get how important surfing is to each of us, so we work as a team to make sure we both get time in the water. We support each other in that, and it makes all the difference.

These days, my surfs feel more special, more light-hearted. I’m not chasing the perfect conditions anymore – I’ll happily paddle out when it’s onshore or the tide’s a bit off, just for the joy of being in the ocean. I don’t get to surf with my girlfriends much anymore because the timing rarely works out.

I’m not as focused on improving now or surfing big waves to challenge myself, I’m honestly just happy to cruise and soak up a bit of time to myself. It’s simple, it’s grounding, and I’m genuinely grateful for every session. It’s a really nice place to be.

A few years ago we developed the Water women’s weekend which is all about enjoying the water in different ways. Stand Up paddle boarding, surfing, bodysurfing, cold water dipping in the ocean, all of these things are low pressure and all about making you feel good. That really resonates with where I am in my life now and each of these activities is a great way to enjoy the ocean.

What’s surprised me most is how much I’ve come to love the process of introducing Dakota to the water.I’ve been taking her to swimming lessons since she was six weeks old, and now I just love watching her on the beach, splashing in rock pools, eating sand, taking it all in. The beach isn’t just about surfing anymore, it’s become a place we can enjoy together, and that feels really special.

Did you feel any physical changes during your surfing after you had Dakota?

Physically, definitely – my core strength took a real hit, so I’ve had to work hard to rebuild it. I started a weekly Pilates class, and I’m already feeling the difference. My cardio has always been pretty ok, so that wasn’t too much of an issue. Right up until I had Dakota, I was swimming and walking regularly, but honestly, I think all the walking and pushing the pram to get her to sleep has kept me moving too haha!

Mentally, though, that was the biggest challenge. At first, I was full of doubts, questioning everything about my surfing. But as my skills have come back, so has my confidence.

What advice would you have for new mums who are trying to navigate their surf/life balance?

If I could give one piece of advice, it’d be to not put pressure on yourself to get back in there ASAP, there’s no shame in taking it easy.

Why not take out a big old foamie until you feel stronger again. You could also get on a bodyboard, which I found super fun. We have bodyboard weekends which are all about laughs, catching loads of waves learning some skills in a no pressure environment.

If you can, surround yourself with other supportive women who get it – even better if you can join one of our surf coaching weekends to give yourself some ‘you’ time and also give you a jumpstart to getting back to it. We have loads of new mums who join us who want to feel confident in the water again.

Be kind to yourself, your body’s just been through something huge. You’ll get back in the water when you’re ready and your surfing skills will return again (even if it doesn’t feel like it, trust me, with a little bit of practice they do come back!) The waves aren’t going anywhere. Soak up those newborn days, they fly by, and you don’t get them back. Surfing can wait.

We’d love to hear your story of getting back in the water, drop us an email!

Ready to reconnect with the ocean – in your own time and on your own terms?
 Whether you’re easing back in after a break, looking to rebuild your confidence, or just want a supportive space to enjoy the water again, we’re here for you.

Our International Surf Trips and UK Weekends are designed for women at all stages including new mums, with no pressure, just good vibes, expert coaching, and a like-minded community.

Explore upcoming trips here and give yourself the time, space, and support to fall in love with surfing all over again. We’d love to welcome you back into the water.